Operation Jurassic Park

Attention all operatives, the Board have decided on the recent rise in violence against human in the Xamion system. Several thousand human residents across the planets had been abducted or murdered due to racism violence. The Watcher Council has calculated a spike in the possibility of further escalation. As a response, we will be exporting Earth entertainment featuring dinosaurs to the Xamion system, which includes motion media as well as fictional prose.

The dominant species of the system, the Bildrus, have an extensive amount of historical knowledge about other galaxies, due to their mandatory education system. They are knowledgable about many systems except for the Milky Way because it’s a great distance away.

By injecting dinosaur media into the Xamion pop culture, we are expecting an increase in the fear of these prehistorical creatures. By contrast, if humans, small and hairless, survive and prevail against these fearsome beasts, the Xamion public would fearfully respect humankind as a result.

The operation is codenamed “Jurassic Park”. It should be noted that the Jurassic Park films are on top of the list.

The decision is made to protect the local human. It is not for the amusement of the Board. All operatives assigned to Operation Jurassic Park should receive their mission updates shortly.

End of announcement.

Julian is unimpressed with his new assignment. He is always unimpressed with everything. His colleagues come to CICADA for some kind of adventure, or the satisfaction of saving the world. To Julian, it’s just a job that pays well.

To be brief, his boss has him working the desk job in the cubicles. It’s perfectly safe, comparing to other professions in the same agency, and just what he wants.

He is assigned to Operation Jurassic Park, a brand new project born from the higher-ups. His assignment includes scrapping the internet from bad dinosaurs movies, pirating them (or legally acquiring them, even though he does not have enough funds to work with) and uploading them to the cloud drive.

Everyone on his floor is assigned to the same project, but different time periods. A hundred bad dinosaurs movies are playing at the same time, across all monitors. They have to screen the films to make sure they are appropriate for distribution.

On coffee break, he asks his co-worker.

“Who would want to watch these many B movies?”

“Aliens, man.”

It’s unfortunate that the first half of the 22nd century—the time period Julian is in charge of—does not produce enough good movies.

Samuel dreams of an infinite rollercoaster when he falls asleep at the cubicle desk. A beep on his computer wakes him up.

“Alert: Message from Watcher Tain.” The automated voice of the system AI says.

Samuel unwillingly opens the email. Tain is a pain in his ass.

“Hey Samuel. The operation is going smooth on my end. The films are distributed throughout Xamion. Initial feedback is quite positive. Raptor Ranch is better received than the Jurassic Park films, for some reason.
That’s not the main thing I need to talk about. Cinema is good and all but only the Xamion II and IV residents have popular movie-going habits. The other planets simply do not have cinemas or its equivalents.
We need a cyberspace website. Thanks.”

Samuel groans into his hand. You need a website, everybody needs a website.

“This is what sucks about middle management.” He mutters to himself, and turns to write an email to his goons. He mumbles while he types. “We need a website…to host all the dinosaurs movies…and novels…make the e-reader…user-friendly.”

He takes a walk around the office floor. His office building is just another boring skyscraper in downtown. With a few layers of shell corporation names, the agency’s office location is hiding in plain sight.

A thought strikes him, while looking out the window at the cityscape. Once it’s here, it hits him hard.

He rushes back to his desk and sends the follow-up email to the group.

“We do not want any erotica. I repeat, we DO NOT want to distribute any inappropriate material to Xamion.“

Then comes a chorus of “yes”, “understood”, and “sure, boss”.
A goon has the audacity to reply, “we do not?”

It’s hard work micromanage multiple realities and galaxies. Samuel cannot even manage his team of office workers without having massive headaches, one worse than the previous one.

Call her a skeptic but Lucia really cannot see how this is working.

How do you market dinosaurs to a bunch of aliens who have no definition of these creatures? How do you insert them into popular culture, and somehow arrive at a result that benefits humanity?

Disaster film might evoke sympathy inside the xeno, therefore achieve the goal. But no, it has to be dinosaurs. Not even humans want to see these shitty movies.

When she first applied for the job here at CICADA, she had grand ideas, too. Something about protecting humanity spoke to her. She truly thought she could do some good.

That’s before she discovered the leadership is a bunch of lunatics.

Operation Jurassic Park is the last straw. The Board has officially lost their collective minds.

She angrily drafts a two-week notice letter.

Attention all operatives. Operation Jurassic Park will conclude later this week. Except for the website maintenance crew, all non-essential personal will be reassigned to new or ongoing projects.

The operation is a success albeit with setbacks along the way. The Xamion residents do not have the same emotional range as humans, so it is impossible for them to feel sympathetic. Their version of fear and awe was also different, according to recent analytic reports.

Instead of respecting humanity for besting the dinosaurs, so they treat humans better, the xeno species arrived at a different conclusion The result was unexpected.

The widespread distribution of dinosaurs media had gain immense popularity among most settlements. The website has crashed twice due to the enormous amount of visitors. Tickets are sold out in the cinema (or the local equivalents). The news was spread through word-of-mouth, since the marketing team was working less than efficient.

The settlers hailed humans as geniuses, intelligent and creative for producing the media. Humanity in the Xamion system has gained a new reputation. Humanity in the system are well respected because of Operation Jurassic Park. Violence against humans has dropped 140% percent during the last month.

Some operatives are under the wrong impression, that this operation would not achieve the intended result. They are wrong.

The mission is a success.

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